hi there. i think i kind of maybe like you. a lot.

which is sort of a problem, for a number of reasons.

A) you’re a freshman, and i’m a recently graduated senior. you’re also the best friend of my best friend’s younger brother. which makes things extra complicated. because, if you were just some random freshman, my friends would just think i’m weird and shun me (just kidding, i think…). but because she knows you, and you’re friends with her “weird little brother”, she’d be totally weirded out by it. not to mention the fact that she’s pretty judgmental already.

B) also, related to the above reason: since i’ve already graduated, i’m pretty much not going to see you. probably ever again. or something nearly as drastic. i’m going off to college, farther away than anyone else i know, and you’re stuck here for another three years. (have fun with that..) and i’d have to come up with a plausible reason to hang out with my best friend’s freshman brother’s best friend during the summer… besides my graduation party, i’m basically not going to see you again until i come home to visit from college.

C) you like someone else. you have a huge, obvious crush on her. i knew about it shortly after i met you. she has a boyfriend, with whom she’s very happy. she was my roommate on that trip, and we became friends. she told me about how she was getting annoyed by you following her around “like a dog”. at first i felt bad for her (i know what it’s like to have an unwanted admirer). but then, when she started being borderline cruel, and mentioning her boyfriend every three seconds to get you to leave her alone and “get a clue”, i felt so bad for you.

it was fun hanging out with you; you made me laugh, you made me smile, and you are a genuinely nice guy. you’re a dork, but it’s adorable. you’re cute and you’re shy and you’re sweet, and that’s why it killed me to see you chasing after her so unsuccessfully. also, there was the part where i started kind of missing you once we got back.

so now i don’t know what to do. i’m still sort of in denial, pretending i don’t have a crush on my best friend’s freshman brother’s best friend. (which i know is very untrue.) i don’t know what to do, because i’m here for three months, then i’m moving away. so it’s not like anything could happen between us anyway, even if you finally gave up on her. because you’ve still got three years of high school left, and i’m going to be so far away… it just wouldn’t work.

i’m sure i’ll be over you by the time i get to college and this will all be a moot point (one that my best friend never needs to find out about).

but, honestly… i kind of hope that once you graduate, or maybe when you’re a junior or senior, i’ll come back home for the summer, and then we can start something. who knows.

love, or something like it,
me