M’kay. Firstly: I’m so, so sorry.

Really, I am.

You are an amazing person. And I never thought I would be the person that I am at the moment. I haven’t done this before, so I have no track-record to fall back on as a blame-mechanism. I’m just an asshole.

I suck. Real, real bad. And the hurt it will cause you is crushing.

But not crushing enough to make me stop.

The thing is, I’m cheating on you. And I have been for some time. And not just with one person. And it isn’t because you don’t fulfill me, or because I’m smitten with a certain other person in particular (because I am, but I’m fucking loads of other people) - I am simply a BAD EGG.

We will have a lovely day together, and as soon as you leave to go to work, I will arrange for one of my fuck-buddies to come over. Or will be setting up a night on the town in hopes of getting off with someone else - a new stranger.

I’m SO SORRY. I really don’t know what to do. I’ve told two of my closest friends about my infidelities, but they don’t want to talk about it with me because THEY love you, too. All they can say is “stop whoring! Look at what you’re potentially throwing away!”. They’re right.

I don’t want to throw you away … but I also don’t think I can be a one-partner partner.

I am an awful person; this I know. And I know that you must be aware of my infidelities and just push them into the ‘too hard to deal with’ basket. And you deserve more.

But balls-up and act like an adult and fuck me more often and perhaps my shittiness will end naturally. Until that time, I will shag indiscriminately and pay you out when appropriate.

Dump me. I need you to. I need to learn.

I love you,
X